U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
