ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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