I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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