drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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