Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
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My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
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came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
They took my balls.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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