FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
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