forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
