my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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