Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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