He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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