i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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