Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Someone shattered a urinal.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
