I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
