They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
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Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
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He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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