We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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