i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
