margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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