actually, I'm a sock model
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
