i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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