I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
