Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
