your parents love me but you hate me
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks