I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.