This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen