this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
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So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
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she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later