She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart