We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
