everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
