Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Text me some of your sweat
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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