I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
