afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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