areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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