i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
