i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
