I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
