I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
