We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My orgasm happened in two different decades
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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