And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
