is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize