Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My Sexting was not on an AP level
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
