belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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