so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
