Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
