Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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