I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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