Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She's JV to your varsity
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
