Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
