The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
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we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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