Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
