Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
