There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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