He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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