I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
