I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
