What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
