I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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