i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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