I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
