do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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