A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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