Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Randomize
