Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We had sex on a dog bed..
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize