White coat. Heels.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
