You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize