dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize