I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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