grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
