why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
