Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Randomize
