Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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