She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
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