used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
