i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
