You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Terrible idea I love it
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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