Non-Jews are for practice
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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