What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
