Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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