Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
