The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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